....and i have absolutely no idea what to do now,other than not getting sleep....
6am..time to hit the gym but its still an hour away...so what do i do??
... i find myself surfing through a greek holiday page(i have absolutely no idea why!!!) and another page on diatomaceous earth(work!)
what can i possibly blog about?!?!.....no politics,no games,no food....at this hour nothing absolutely interests me...(sid, i hope that answers your question)
Saturday, December 29
....and i have absolutely no idea what to do now,other than not getting sleep....
Sunday, December 2
It happens only in India. Well two days from now my cousin was supposed to get married. Now it’s cancelled. Reason: DOWRY!! (Very much prevalent in many Indian communities. Fortunately it doesn’t exist in my Assamese community. And this is why we were hit below the belt.) It was another boy-meets-girl story. He is a Jhat and she is an Assamese. They fell in love and decided to get married after dating for 3 years. Everything was picture perfect until a dowry of 50 lakhs was demanded a week before the marriage. Well if it wasn’t paid on the day of “sagaii” (which was two days before the marriage and to be held at Delhi), the “baraat” won’t come down to Assam for the wedding. Sounds like a stupid Sooraj Barjhatiya plot, eh? Well this has what happened in reality and that too in my family!!
Thought that in such a helpless situation the bride’s family would comply with it. But they just missed a single point. They are dealing with the Sarmas. Blame it on our genes, but we do strike back when unexpected. My sister simply told the groom: “Bhad mein jai tu aur teri ma…the marriage is off!!” I bet he didn’t see that coming. And if marriage is all about respecting one another, then dude, I can never respect a guy who asks money from my dad.
Calling off the marriage was really brave of her and the entire family supports her decision. Her only lament is that she couldn’t recognize earlier what schmuck and weakling he was. I mean who would expect an educated guy with a secured job to act like an invalid. Ironically, Indian grooms come with price tags. The marriage market is an auction house indeed. Higher your degree and your position, the dowry amount increases exponentially. No consideration even if the bride is equally qualified.
Taking dowry can never be an age-old tradition. It is just another means for filling our endless pit of greed. And the new-age Indians are crazy about easy money. So unless you clean the skeletons in your closet, there is no stopping to DOWRY.
Friday, November 2
Its been a cloudy day today and oh, what a respite! I mean after the ever existing scorching heat of Vellore, the rains are like “mama mia”… winter here is nothing more than the rains.. But I ain’t complaining. I m just at my laziest best. Spending an entire rainy day doing nothing. Just reading one your favorites in the warmth of the quilt…hmmm I could trade it with any day of my life. Well Gone With The Wind still spins the same magic everytime I read it. Simply can’t get over the beautiful yet fiery Scarlett O’ Hara and her struggle during the war, and the audacious Rhett Butler (we all fell in love with him!) and his snide remarks. Been reading it since morning and never realized it was almost dinnertime when I finished this thousand page epic( okay, I missed breakfast and lunch in a row but saved by a pack of pringles J). Had it not been for my nosy neighbour who banged my door 2 check on vitality signs, I wouldn’t have come out of this reverie. Now this is the beauty of living in a single room on the seventh floor. Nobody bothers and this is my own seventh haven. Wish my term end examination wasn’t round the corner, or else I would have devoured the entire literary section of the library(the section I ever visited..lol). Now that my book is over and I had a totally messy dinner of the mess, alas there ain’t much to do around than sleeping. Hope its another rainy day tomorrow for another good book to read. The importance of being idle is learnt and respected after all.
Sunday, September 23
CAMs are round the corner...and this is the time of the semester that i really hate..not dat i m an exam-o-phobic...its just that u kindda feel tensed,as if a heavy cloud of bad moods is hovering over u..i mean exams are imminent n so are these times..an erre silence falls over the hostel corridors(now now this isn't some r.l.stine tale)..the place gets a demented look..at times even my room gets stuffy and the sight of so many texts on my table makes me feel like puking..so this time i m nt taking a chance and thats when i got the idea of creating my "snappy wall"...now don't take the literal meaning...its the wall infront of my table and i stuck it with pictures from my albums..little did i know that the outcome would be so good..the entire wall looks like a collage of my life..its so full of people and so full of life..people who are part of my life or people who momentarily touched my life at some point..all of them together at one place and smiling down at u is truly amazing..i am not a romantic but watchin these snaps make me feel as if i m watchin the movie of my life minus the sad parts...and that makes a light feel good movie?? a comedy rather coz there are these embarrasing pics where i had really short hair or the ones where i played the role of devil in school drama and i apparently had two red horns, a tail and my face painted black...!! i mean that drama was a mistake but now i laugh looking back at it...and i m not ashamed of telling about it... hey wait a min..isn't this what life is all about?? sometimes you make certain mistakes and later on have a good laugh thinking about them..and what a fool u had been!! now looking at these pics i kindda feel elated at any time of the day and i just simply smile...and i just hope this works during the dark times a.k.a the exam times...the only wish unfulfilled is..the pictures aren't moving!!
Monday, August 27
Monday, August 20
Its 1.39 am.. and i m not getting sleep..excellent !!i have a paper 2 write after 9 hrs. and here i am not getting a wink of sleep...its not d 1st time i m writing an exam..nor m i nervous due to my lack of preperation...then why i ain't getting sleep?? i feel totally demented coz i hate to enter d class with dark circles or puffy eyes..maybe i will fall asleep after the reading the 1st question itself...
i even walked around the entire 9 floors of my hostel (a fruitless attempt 2 tire myself out!!), sat on the roof top garden listening to the intoxicating "coldplay"( mind you there were no stars n moon out 2nite..its cloudy)and ate an entire packet of "milano"..read a boring cheminope its still no helping...now here i m typing away aimlessly (in other words..blogging!!) and murdering around hundreds of mosquitoes past 5 mins in my room...n yet i m not sleepy!!
aww..c'mon this can't happen to me?!?!...i love sleeping and lazying around...no this is real bad news..waitamin..i jus yawned!! yippee...boring as hell u r o' blogging...but a good way to get some sleeping..nite
Tuesday, August 14
..."Lysergic acid diethylamide. When taken with adequate amount of coke in the right way, u r high for the next 27 hrs max..."
Now this is what i wanted 2 work on as my 3rd year chemical mini-project..Alas my project partner, Aashish wanted to work on environmental issues...Baah!! Had i worked on it, imaGINE how many personal inputs i would have got from my "reliable sources"..it would be a real big -time project helping the ever-stoned student community of our college...
Friday, August 10
My 3rd year @VIT is proving to be really fatal...mentally and physically. The work load has increased thousand times more with the donkey load of backlogs to overcome.. I mean there is hardly any time to eat breakfast 'coz if u r even 5 mins late for this 1st hr..you are simply thrown out...I m experiencing it every week...and it sucks when d prof. says "Next class!!" and the jackasses of my class shouts "LATE!LATE!LATE!".. With the compulsion of 75% attendance in every subject to be eligible to write the exams...life sucks here big time...
Not to mention the hot and humid climate of this place and the excellent behaviour of my department profs., i have become permanently hyper-irritated, allergic to people..picking up fights every other day was getting to familiar to me..Just the other day i shouted at the substitute lab in charge "Mr. CHIDKUT" .. I mean that guy got some problem with me.. He always picks me out when the entire batch is talking or laughing(at him!!)...That day my boiling point was really low ...and my patience just vaporised..I guess it hit him real hard ...Never did he expect that kind of retort...I did get a few pats on the back..I guess i spoke what was on everyone's minds...newayz dats not the point...its jus that my irritated behaviour irritates me more than anyone else...
Tried yoga, long talks, watched few comedies, listened to music, read books....nah!nothing was helping..until one fine something real good happened...dancing!!..well to start off with i m hell of a dancer...i suffer from the lead legs on the dance floor syndrome...so the other day when the music was loud in my room and there was nothing to do at all...i just got a crazy idea of shaking my leg a bit.. result : i was dancing for half an hour.. and i liked it!! i mean those 30 mins were stress free, anger free, irritation free...whoop!! that was jus the start..now i got the complete collection of Jane Fonda's workout with high power music...Not a regular though but whenever i get a chance i love dancing my stress away....jus lovin' it!
Friday, July 20
coz i m stuck in dis bloody hell hole called vit @v(H)ellore...here everything is stagnant...not only air n water even the grey cells...they literally die here...reason: 85% of the insty ppl r either stoned, drunk or asleep,...10% of them have infected their grey cells with infinite boredom...n the rest 5%(yeah dats d faculty) are simply born without them...so guys n gals if u r a creative genius and quite bored with dat image....JOIN US!!
HAVE A NICE STAY!!
Wednesday, June 13
nice, warm intellectual comedy..don't expect any great stuff as in great sets n hunks n damsels for the characters(yeah milind soman is an exceptional here!! xoxoxo)
must watch in theatres and since its not that popular you will find almost empty theatres.
advantage:you can kick the empty chair infront of you while being the "laughing hyena".
every morning as i put on my favorite pair of Nike n start jogging with dad....this song keeps ringing on my head on n on...
Raindrops keep fallin' on my head(...my head sings that even on sunny days too)
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head,
they keep fallin'
So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head,
they keep fallin'......nananana
..coz d dunno d rest. as i jog past the riverside the same scenes keep on reapeating since i was 3...old,young , thin, fat,sportsmen,businessmen...all sorts of joggers..only difference..the young became old and few thin ones became fat with age...the only thing that remained same was the serene atmosphere....its actually fun to watch people in the joggers' park...old people busy in their laughter therapy and yoga...d young and the hopeless(like me) busy in watchin other people...
for me, i guess my jogging schedule is divided in2 three parts...1st round is rather "sleep" jogging...eyes refuse 2 open at 5am...2nd is actually when i start my day...running...3rd round is all i think of is running and chicken cheese burger...well no motivation works here though...i imagine my burger running infront me...thats it...i complete my run before time...only at the end i still don't get my burger but end up sweating from head to toes...i guess not all stories have a happy ending...
Wednesday, June 6
well finally i can call it the perfect day of my vacation..its raining outside now...little droplets are entering through the open window...frank sinatra, nnenna freelon, peggy lee n bobby drain are crooning in my player...n i m reading one of the amazing book of all time.... "love in the time of cholera"...everything is just so fine that i feel as if i m on a vacation in a dream...so i guess penning it down will keep this moment fresh 4ever...
Thursday, May 17
It was a sultry evening and there was nothing to occupy my mind..just flipping through the web pages wasn't a joy either..so i tried doing the unthinkable-cooking...and that too PASTA!!
now it wasn't that terrifying at the start although i m in a total alien territory-the KITCHEN!! well...to start off with i burnt my hand while draining the hot water...the amount of tomatoes weren't enough...the sauce was undercooked...the pasta was overboiled n looked like loose skin(yeww!!)..but that was not d worst part...it was the aftermath-the kitchen was total mess(mom freaked out!!) and ya how can i forget the part called "EATING"...where i made ma,pa n bro to eat that gooey stuff...well mom n dad gobbled it down with litres of water and rahul coudn't eat more than 3 spoons(i know he did that too outta pity or maybe courtesy)and this is what he said:
"Sis,do whatever u want in life except...cooking!!"
ah! it was a real shame especially when both your parents are awesome cook...not my fault(zaroor genes mein koi chemical locha hua tha!!)
Wednesday, May 9
well the other day i came across this hilarious yet a very controversial theory.its by Anthony Sherratt concerning how/why it's the bastards who end up with women(hey!!not all women..)..here goes the theory:
"Women find confidence attractive. The only problem with this is that quite often the other traits a woman may look for are not present in the most common form of Confi-magnon man: the Bastard. Bastards are very confident particularly in social situations because they have less invested in it. That is, they don't really care. And when you don't care there's little or no nerves, a nonchalant attitude and sometimes a touch of arrogance. This lack of caring (the very lack of the sensitivity that women also want) is easily disguised when The Charm needs to be turned on: true bastards do this easily. Their philosophy is that women are for just their pleasure and I've even had one offer his "hunting philosophy" that went along the lines of "I'll get/ask for sex and I get it or I don't. 99 rejections are worth 1 acceptance."(bloody bastards!!) (paraphrased) In summary they see women as a sex toy or meat and it's their low care factor that gives them their confidence, their strongest weapon.
The real problem lies in the fact that most females seem unable to distinguish between confident bastard (common) and confident man (rarer and becoming disillusioned). After all bastards camouflage themselves well and have more opportunity to practice the charm (ie lies). But unlike confident man the bastards don't follow through. Occasionally they will for awhile but their selfishness will shine through.
The truly sad thing is that because of the higher profile the bastards enjoy a lot of women will generalise and categorise all men into the bastards genre(and they love doing it!!). This is obviously untrue (and unfair) but the sensitive man is the one who is a little less likely to play the games and may often be rebuffed early. Going off on a tangent now... But most men can distinguish between the sleaze/player/bastard (confidant-eructus) and the dying breed of confidant romantics??Ironic that the shallower (and retrospectively less attractive) man is more attractive in the short-term. Is humanity doomed by our own genes? Or just our emotional desires? "
Saturday, May 5
-Frank Sinatra(yeah i do listen 2 jazz 2..thanks 2 him...mesmerised me with his album "Strangers in the night"....i still go gaga over that golden voice...way to go sinatra!!)
And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.
Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and evry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.
Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!
Friday, April 6
Seriously it’s the most unexpected thing that can happen to me coz I study in such an insty where I hate everything about it. Ask my best friend and he’ll tell u how much I complain about my college. But a strange thing happened n now I actually started liking my insty. Well I joined this Techno-preneurship Training Program (TET) conducted by VITTBI and I love it. It’s the missing link of my restlessness. Here I m taught the basics of starting my own business – from finding a business opportunity to marketing the product.
Its love at first sight. From day1 it’s a magical tour for me. Every moment of these classes I learn something new. And I m enjoying the whole experience. It’s generally after my class hours. From 5pm it sometimes extends up to 9pm. And hey I m not complaining about the dinners I missed or my basketball practices or hanging out with my friends. The whole idea of starting my own business actually scared me in the beginning. But now that I know its same feeling for any damn entrepreneur, I m no longer scared to take a dive in the business world. Infact my first business venture is in its incubation period. I m not an MBA (nor intend to be one!!), so I m vulnerable to making mistakes in my first venture. But I love to learn my lessons always the hard way. It’s a real time challenge and nothing excites me more than a tough challenge.
Number crunching in finance class or solving the tricky case studies actually makes my day. Besides, the numerous camps and seminars I attended have opened a new vista for me. And the best part is I m meeting people from the business world. Industrialists, venture capitalists, entrepreneurs, marketing scholars…you name it. Just sitting next to them and sharing their experiences is euphoric. There is so much to learn from them. Its like I m an empty glass which never gets full. I remember my Taekwondo Master saying “Never stop learning. If u ever have to bow ur head in front of someone to gain knowledge never give a second thought. Go for it”. And its so true.
Business world is my world. This is where I belong. It’s a tough and lonely road ahead. But who cares? After all its what I love. And nothing else matters.
Tuesday, March 20
That's the crap we have been reading for "quite" sometime. Seriously it's a worthy piece of shit 'coz every one is having a good time from it. Right from the celebrity herself to the readers. It's a beautiful chain reaction. We Indians are always good at making issues (literally n biologically too!!) I mean aren't we the ones who love kissing the phirangis' white asses since they first landed on our soil. No doubt the British left is us in 1947 but we surely did follow them back to their homes(like faithful dogs!!).
I don't know what's wrong with the so called "rich n famous n intellectuals" of our country. Why are they so prone to kissing white asses n become proud immigrants in foreign lands?? Fine! U get good money, better lifestyle….blah blah blah and what! Hordes of racist remarks and slave treatments!! And I don't blame the whites for this. U know why?? 'Coz they are so used to Indians behaving no better than slaves. Whether u are a businessman in Britain or a Silicon Valley worker or a celebrity or just a college student they will always laugh at ur back. They don't give a damn being called as racists. 'Coz they know very well that at the end of the day we need to come crawling back to them. Doesn't the value of dollar decide how many Indians will get to have their dinner tonight?
But media is giving a different picture altogether. I mean look at this sequence of headlines: "Shilpa faces racist slurs in celebrity show", "Indians around the world protest at the misbehavior of the house inmates", "British condemns Goody's behavior", "Goody apologises to the world", "Shilpa wins the Big Brother", "Shilpa meets the queen", "Goody comes down to India", "Commons all praise for Shilpa"….. And on and on…
I mean what crap picture is media painting to us. Don't they know we Indians love being insulted. Our forefathers happily received it and we are just following their steps. Now look at this irony. The British leaders are calling "our" Shilpa (pun intended) an "epitome of grace"… hey wait a minute! Aren't they from the same families who called Gandhi the " naked fakir"?? Poor white men! Look what all they have to do to save their dirty white asses!!
Now look at us. At this moment there is so-called "uprising" among us. And we are fighting for our human rights, condemning racism. But how long do u think will this continue? Unless we believe in ourselves and "we can do it on our own" becomes the mantra , these are of no help. Now I m not talking about total isolation but I m saying no to "decent slavery". I agree ours is not a perfect country, but we can actually work for it. Look at our Japanese friends. Their "been there, done that" attitude have catapulted them to the topmost slot amongst the Asians. Now people if u think u had enough of "ass kissing", its time that u do a bit more of "kicking asses" and show them what u are made of. I m ready…. are you??
Thursday, March 15
Ever felt rain on ur face and sunshine too at the same time? For one fraction of second your whole body shivers and then…u smile. Hmmm… I don’t know what heaven is, but maybe it feels like this. Well I was thinking of my summer trip to Gangtok. It was awesome. As the bus was moving through the winding mountain roads, I swear it was one of my best trysts with nature. Ya, I m a nature lover and the mountains tops my list. So as I was saying, it started raining lightly though it was sunny. (I loovve the “sun n rain” combo pack.) You see I had the advantage of occupying the entire last seat of the bus (by the way, there were hardly 20 people in it!!).So I opened the windows there, at the expense of getting disapproving looks from the passengers. But who cares??? That was my moment and I didn’t let it go. And I had my trip to heaven. The scenery was outrageously beautiful. I mean you can see river Teesta below flowing madly, the tall dark green pines passing by and my oh my smell of rain on dry earth!! Adding flavors to it, the sun was just peeking through the clouds …this whole conspiracy seemed straight out of the Wordsworths or the Robert Frosts. Incidentally at that moment my Discman was playing Shania Twain’s “C’est la vie”. Slightly soaked in rain and humming one of my favorites, I felt detached. No boredom, no tensions of “how to survive the remaining semesters at VIT”, I was almost flying. (remember the Krackjack ad!!) Suddenly I was smiling by myself. (Yeah the passengers gave me a “she’s a mental” look.)Now thinking about it, I remember these lines by Robert Frost:
“These woods are lovely,
Dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep.
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”
Promises???...... Nah! Not exactly, rather compulsion. Like completing my “donkey load” of pending lab work which I need to complete tonight before I get thrown out of the lab tomorrow (again?!?!). Ah! Reality hits real hard. Now back to work….. (With loads of grumblin and cussin…)
Tuesday, March 6
all of our lives we tend to do stuff what others will like.eons ago many wise "dinos" said "we live for others". i say "bullshit". coz the moment u start pleasing others ...do stuff stuff what they like..u lose ur individuality..unknowingly u become sad...by the time u realise its all too late...the beautiful moments are gone when u could have enjoyed your life...but the bloody society will praise u saying" u sacrificed ur life for whomsoever it was"...and you will have a sense of false happiness..
my question is"why to sacrifice ur happiness for some petty praises??" instead why don't we jus live every moment for ourselves..doing what we like and giving a damn what others will say(gotta take a lot of risk here)...but then the so-called"conscience"(very much influenced by the society!!)will kindda say "hey man dats being selfish!!" and we hold ourselves back and never dare to take dat risk again...so whoz the loser here we or the society??
hence i believe that the moment we let go of this we are sure to be the happiest souls on earth.religion teaches the exact opposite and so i lost faith in it.it always holds us back from what we want.so why can't we be free like the air??or the animals in the jungle??just be free from such invisible cages...
Saturday, March 3
they love to hate us,
they mock at us,
they do their best to crush us,
'coz they know they can never be us,
for we are the "born fighters"
life is a never-ending war for us,
nothing is ever easy for us,
we strive n fail
but never give up...
'coz we always get what we want
maybe in the hardest way,
n hell we are proud to say
"we don't need no godfathers" anyway....
Thursday, January 11
well what do u do when things go terribly wrong when u r on d verge of winning,when mind gets blocked at the point when it needs 2 b at its best,and most importantly when u don't know why this is happening to you...do you simply say "thank you life for the misery" and give up ...or u simply hold on 4 a ray of hope??
confusion..confusion...holy shit!! somebody show me the way....i m totally lost...dead end..
Sunday, January 7
You are my fire,
The one desire,
Believe when i say
I want it that way....
Sounds like a Backstreet Boys songs huh? But this is my humble ode to this epitome of beauty-FRESH CREAM BLACK FOREST CAKE...yummm..
This 4 inch chocolate paradise is covered with 2 inch of fresh white cream sprinkled with chocolate chips and fresh red cherries.
Bite 1. Your heart does bungee jumping.
Bite 2. Along with the chocolate, your heart melts too.
Bite 3. You are in trance.
Bite 4. You attain Nirvana.
Excerpts from life. If food can kill with pleasure, this is one of the deadliest fusions on earth.
Saturday, January 6
mind u people out there...the next amazing story to be published in this blog will be MY STORY...and i mean it...muhahaha(wicked high pitched witchy laughter)....unleash the monster within!!